control

Over Controlling behavior gives us a false sense of safety because there is no such thing as having control over life. Find out how to surrender to the unknown.

Over Controlling behavior gives us a false sense of safety because there is no such thing as having control over life. Find out how to surrender to the unknown.

Just recently, I realized that the frustration and anger I have mostly felt over my adult life were manifestations of my need for control.

It came as a big surprise to realize that I am a true control freak. But, it actually made sense; the only way I could have ever felt safe was by thinking that I was in control of what happened to me and to the those I love. If I controlled things in my life, then I could not got hurt or feel any kind of emotional pain.

Suddenly, I saw that a controlling need in every aspect of my life was concealed behind what I  called  “good planning”.  I realized that I went with the flow only when things were not of high importance.

Constant tension

The need to control everything is very exhausting. Whenever things do not pan out as we planned or thought or assumed they would be, we feel angry and frustrated.  

However, by our attempt to control things we don’t decrease the tension, but rather increase it. Controlling behavior gives us a false sense of safety because there is no such thing as having complete control over life.

That is why I sometimes did things that may have appeared completely irrational and out of control. I was trying to “sell” this false image of a carefree and relaxed version of myself, when in fact, that didn’t represent anything but my way of escaping a need for control.

Here is what I have realized about my need to control things:

  1. The need to control is rooted in fear – and where there is fear, there is no space for love
  2. Having an unplanned outcome is sometimes the better outcome
  3. Letting go of control would actually set you free

Life takes care of all of us

Things happen. No matter what we do, or how much we plan or worry, life takes its course.

Let go of everything: let go of old emotions, pain, and behavioral patterns that no longer serve you, or are no longer in line with who you have become.  Let go of control.

You cannot keep people that you love alive  in a glass aquarium and not let them live free out of fear that something might happen to them. Life is not only good moments, happiness, flowers and butterflies. Life is a ride, a journey, a path made of pebbles of both sorrow and joy.

Decide to let go. Give the driver’s seat to somebody much powerful than yourself – life. Then, just sit back, and enjoy the ride. I am finally learning how to relax, and you should too.

more from the pavlovic today

Twitter Files: Elon Musk Access Journalism Of Only One

“Much ado about nothing,” Shakespeare used to say. The Twitter Files were expected to be a document drop, but Elon Musk quickly turned them into access for only one journalist. The chosen one, Matt Taibbi was given exclusive access to the files he then broke the story about, one tweet at a time. Clearly, he…

Keep reading

LIVE: Biden And Macron Hold A Joint Press Conference

French President Emmanuel Macron and his wife Brigitte arrived at 9:18 am at the White House were they were greeted by Joe and Jill Biden. This is the first state visit of Biden’s presidency. Macron was also the first state visit of the Trump presidency. And according to Carlos Elizondo, the White House social secretary,…

Keep reading

Biden’s schedule for December 1, 2022 is out

Today President Biden and Jill Biden will welcome French President Emmanuel Macron and Mrs. Brigitte Macron for a state visit. This will be the first state visit of Biden’s presidency. The President has a packed schedule. It includes an arrival ceremony, bilateral meeting, joint press conference, and state dinner. This will be President Macron’s second…

Keep reading

Inside The Downing Street England v Wales Match For MPs

On Tuesday evening, about 120 Conservative MPs flocked into No 10 to watch the England v Wales game. Inside, the flags of England and Wales were displayed on either side of the giant TV. Snacks and drinks were served. MPs stood and joined in singing the national anthem before the game. MPs representing English and…

Keep reading

Biden’s schedule for November 30, 2022 is out

EST 9:00 AM  President Biden receives the Presidential Daily Briefing                             11:05 AM President Biden departs the White House en route the White House Tribal Nations Summit11:30 AM  President Biden delivers remarks at the White House Tribal Nations Summit12:15 PM President Biden  departs the White House Tribal Nations Summit en route the White House                            12:20 PM President Biden arrives at the White House 5:30 PM The First…

Keep reading

Kristina Kantar

Kristina Kantar is a writer and soul-searcher. She believes in miraculousness of life, in following your heart and the power of dreams. Strong advocate of freedom of human spirit and nonconformance to...

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *