How to stop those negative inner voices?
How to stop those negative inner voices?
We are all familiar with those negative inner voices in our heads sending us all sorts of discouraging messages. For those negative voices we are not good enough. When we achieve something we were striving for, they send us a message that it was pure luck, or just a lucky coincidence. For those negative inner voices we are a failure before we even begin.
Where those negative inner voices come from?
Those voices are not necessarily yours. They are the voices of our parents, teachers, caregivers, friends and sometimes the voices of our ancestors. Their pure energy engraved in our DNA. There are a lot of our own voices in that crowd, too. The voice of the little child you used to be; that at one point got hurt, rejected, abandoned. Maybe it wasn’t ever a real abandonment or rejection, but your little heart felt it as such.
None of those voices wish to hurt us, regardless of how hurtful they might sound. They all have one common goal: to keep us safe. Like a highly trained squad of ninjas, they will work perfectly together to prevent us from getting hurt and keep us alive.
Being alive and living a fulfilling life are not the same thing.
Those voices are there to prevent us from making a change. Since every change is a risk; they will prevent us from opening our hearts to love because it might get broken, abandoned and left bleeding. They would hate to see us disappointed for not achieving our goals, and that is why those ninjas will do anything to stop us from giving up in the process.
What they really do is prevent us from smelling the roses, due to the fact that there might be some thorns. They do it all out of love for us.
How to stop those negative inner voices?
Those voices operate from fear. Since there are only two opposing emotions, from which all others derive from, love and fear, we have to teach them to start operating from love. The only way to do it is to call upon their love for us.
Here are a few simple steps to accept those negative inner voices, befriend them, and finally let their love work for you.
- First, you have to face them and acknowledge their existence – we all just want to be seen, heard and acknowledged.
- “I care” – tell them that you do care about them and that their opinion is very important to you.
- “I hear you” – listen to what they are saying. Let them know that you are hearing their words.
- “Why are you telling me this?” – make them state their reasons for telling you whatever it is they are saying. You will be surprised to find out that they actually deeply care for you and are trying to protect you.
- “Thank you!” – let those negative inner voices know that you are thankful for their care and effort.
- Let them know that they shouldn’t be worried, and that their approach to things is not very efficient. Then let them know in which way would you like them to support you – “Please next time it would make me happy if you would help me by doing ______.”
In time, your inner voices will become your truest allies.