emotional abuse

Many people are completely unaware that they have fallen victim to emotional abuse. When someone we care about hurts us, we have a tendency to ignore their actions because we don’t want to loose them.

Are you a victim of emotional abuse?

Many people are completely unaware that they have fallen victim to emotional abuse. When someone we care about hurts us, we have a tendency to ignore their actions because we don’t want to loose them.

Projection is described as a human’s unconscious defense against their own faults by denying the existence of their insecurities, instead attributing these qualities to others. Projection allows the abuser to pin themselves as the victim and to never be held accountable for their actions.

The abuser is terrified of feeling vulnerable, so they do everything they can to strip the victim of  power. Abusers use means of control to ensure their partner will not leave them. People abuse for many reasons, but it is imperative to remember that the victim is never at fault.

Many individuals who abuse were abused themselves during an earlier stage in their lives, often as children. Abusers do not deal with the trauma correctly or repress the memories entirely. As a result the abuser has no an inability to empathize and understand others’ viewpoints.

Abusive tendencies can also be triggered by internal factors. Some abusers suffer from a personality disorder or brain damage. An empathy deficit causes an inability for the abuser to recognize or care about another person’s perspective.

The abuser only cares when it’s in their best interest.

How do you respond to emotional abuse?

Many people are completely unaware that they have fallen victim to emotional abuse. When someone we care about hurts us, we have a tendency to ignore their actions because we don’t want to loose them.

Everyone experiences bad days in which they unrightfully take their frustration out on their partner, but there can only be so many “bad days.”

Recognize the abuser is using you as a shield, hiding themselves from their faults by deflecting the blame on you. Try writing a list of the most recent arguments or instances of anger. Go through the list and ask yourself if you think each action is truly excusable.

Sometimes you may try to accurately identify if an action was unacceptable or not, but genuinely have no idea how to distinguish right from wrong.

At this point we reach out to friends or family. Ask their thoughts about the situation and be honest with how you feel. Find clarity through the words of others.

Join a support group or even read the stories of other victims who have endured emotional abuse. You may be surprised to hear stories eerily similar to your own situation.

When you care about someone you may find yourself tempted to risk your own happiness in an effort to appease the abuser. However, no matter how much a person has been through, it does not give them the right to inflict pain on to others.

You enter a relationship to help contribute happiness to this person’s life, not take on the role as the sole provider of their happiness. A relationship is a give and take, not constant giving while you are berated in the process.

Even if you detest your abuser, you may find yourself experiencing overwhelming sensations of guilt for leaving.

However, your decision to break the cycle does not signify the person is worthless in your eyes. It is a matter of recognizing that you are worth so much more than what you are being given.

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Adrienne Gagne

Adrienne Gagne attains happiness by continuously exploring uncharted territory. Her ultimate goal is to encourage new directions of thinking, not to sway others’ opinions to strictly align with her own....

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