Being Unforgiving

Struggling with forgiving someone who just went too far? You may be causing yourself more harm than good. Read about these 3 ways to see how being unforgiving affects you mentally and physically.

I think it’s fair to say that we all have someone that we may be holding some bitterness towards. Lines were crossed. Perhaps this person did the unthinkable and forgiving them seems wrong. Although being unforgiving may seem like the right thing to do, you may be doing harm than good. Here are three ways that being unforgiving affects you.

1. Being unforgiving clouds your judgement

When you hold intense feelings of hatred towards someone, it consumes you. You can’t focus on your daily tasks or other things because you are too concerned about how the person who wronged you treated you.

When you are filled with hatred, it can affect how you interact with others. You may make rash judgments and may not be able to think clearly. From my experience, people who are angry will make decisions based on anger.

When I was angry at my relative, I became filled with rage. I couldn’t work, commute or travel properly due to my rage. I felt personally betrayed and wrong.

2. Being unforgiving prevents you from forming new relationships

If you hold deep anger towards someone it may prevent you from forming new relationships. This is because you are preoccupied with how the previous person wronged you. In that sense, you may be more paranoid or hesitant to form new relationships. You might project people’s wrongs on emerging relationships.

From personal experience, I know I had a strong aversion to men due to my past relationships with men. As a result, my relationships with men were awkward. Judging people based on your past disappointments can prevent you from forming some solid relationships.

3. Being unforgiving causes physical strain

If you are constantly consumed with how the person wronged you, it adds a physical strain to your body as well. Did you know that being unforgiving can affect your health?

According to an article by John Hopkins Medicine, it states that chronic anger can cause, “ changes in heart rate, blood pressure, and immune response. Those changes, then, increase the risk of depression, heart disease, and diabetes, among other conditions.”

On the contrary, the same article states that forgiveness can help lower the risk of heart attack; improving cholesterol levels and sleep; and reducing pain, blood pressure, and levels of anxiety, depression, and stress. Therefore, it is imperative that you forgive, your health depends on it.

In sum, being unforgiving may seem like the right thing to do. Even justified. However, what’s more, the one who is stronger is able to forgive. Forgiveness will release a physical  and emotional toll that you may have been carrying for a long time. Forgiveness allows you to have a clear state of mind, to form new relationships without bias and will prevent a physical strain on your body. Who needs more stress? Just forgive.

Do you know any more ways that being unforgiving affects you? Comment below!

Read also: Five Lessons in Forgiveness

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Habiba Abudu

Habiba is a writer and photographer based in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. She writes on a variety of topics including, relationships, lifestyle and world affairs.

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