Be Kind to be Happy

Kindness has to start in your own heart. You have to learn to be kind to yourself just as much as you are willing to be kind to somebody else.

Kindness has to start in your own heart. You have to learn to be kind to yourself just as much as you are willing to be kind to somebody else. 

One of the most common subjects of many spiritual and self-healing talks I have ever heard is kindness. It is the core of almost every religion and philosophy there is.

I see kindness as a manifestation of love.

Many philosophies teach that there are only two basic states of our being: love and fear. All of our emotions simply derive from those two. Love as an all-encompassing state of being, “live and let live” attitude, is our desire for everybody to be well and happy. Love doesn’t mean we have to enjoy spending time with somebody or wanting them for our friend. It is simple as wishing them well. We all have been through rough times in live and found ourselves angry at someone at some point in our existence. And maybe, for an instant, we were not able to wish them well. That was, my dear, fear taking over, rearing its head through anger, which was provoked by hurt. Once we were ready to let go of pain caused by that hurt, we were able to forgive and forgiveness is the sister to kindness. We were able to step out of fear and step into love. Once you forgive you are able to be kind too.

Kindness increases happiness

A simple act of kindness can make your day. It makes the other person’s day, too. No matter who’s giving, and who’s on the receiving end.

Many studies have shown that acts of kindness increase the level of our happiness. One research has shown that just by writing a simple thank you note can make you much happier.

I remember, I was in the Union Square subway station in NYC. I saw a woman, who I later found out was from Guatemala, trying to carry her fruit cart up the stairs. The cart was big and loaded with mangos and other fruits: But she was too small for the task, yet determined to make it to the top of the stairs. Busy as it always is at that subway station she really had a hard time pushing through people. I was in a rush as everybody else in NY, but I just felt an urge to stop and help her out. I thought about how hard it must be for her to climb those stairs with heavy load every day, then go out and stand in the scorching sun selling those fruits and earning a living. For me it was a minute of my time and no trouble at all, but to her it would probably mean a lot. Both of us felt good. And honestly, I am not sure who was on the receiving end.

Which points out one important fact: kindness has to start in your own heart. You have to learn to be kind to yourself just as much as you are willing to be kind to somebody else. We are only humans, we learn as we go along, we stumble, fall, we make mistakes but we have this amazing ability to forgive and be kind.

Remember, we are all in this together. We all ache, we all laugh; we are all creatures bound to live together on this amazing planet of ours. If one hurts – we all bleed.

Long ago I came across a statement that will stay with me forever. I don’t remember who wrote it but I know that it turned my perspective forever: “Love is everywhere around us. We just have to choose to let it in.”  So every time you are looking at someone,  you have a choice to open your heart and feel love . Don’t choose to close yourself up in fear, judgment and numbness.

By one simple act of kindness you are making your choice and you are letting love in.


“This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness.” – Dalai Lama

Add Comment

Click here to post a comment

About the author

Kristina Kantar

Kristina Kantar

Kristina Kantar is a writer and soul-searcher. She believes in miraculousness of life, in following your heart and the power of dreams. Strong advocate of freedom of human spirit and nonconformance to social dogmatism she claims her friends are the biggest blessing of her life yet cherishes hours of solitude and silence. Believing spiritual teachings can be practical and livable she enjoys everyday life learning the lessons as they come along, stumbling, falling, getting up and loving it all the way.
She is a certified yoga teacher and reiki practitioner, trained in traditional Hatha yoga at Sivananda Yoga Vedanta organization. She had spent some time in Sivanada Ashram in Catskills Mountains, NY and has been member of the staff in Sivanada Yoga Center in New York City for several months.
Born and raised in Belgrade, Serbia, she has spent some time in Japan and has lived in Hawaii and New York City.


Subscribe to the Newsletter