Confessions of the Financier The Pavlovic Today

Confessions of the Financier: It’s when you are down, when your body is on the ground bleeding, that the hyenas will come out to feast.

Worry, anxiety, depression, frustration, anger. The emotions you battle every day, every hour, once you leave the comfort of a traditional job, deviating towards an uncertain professional future. If those around you are not expressing support, at the very least you expect them to respect your personal decisions. You are mistaken: it’s when you are down, when your body is on the ground bleeding, that the hyenas will come out to feast.

Get a job! Don’t be a vagabond, nobody likes that! Have you found a job yet? How is unemployment going? Are you poor yet? Who is paying for your travels? I think you should lower your expectations. You do not want to work, do you? Happy unemployment forever.

This is what will be waiting for you. Sadly in this world, there will be a surprisingly large number of “friends” hoping to watch you fail. Individuals that will loftily gaze at your struggles through the difficult times, your desire to build a new life. They will grasp at anything they can to find further validation for their own weak choices. They are aching for any sign of confirmation that their frustrations and miserable lives are still better than facing the unknown.

When you try to confront these people they usually backpedal into hypocrisy. “It’s only because I worry for you,” they’ll insist.

They do not worry for you by actively helping you, they do not worry for you when you feel as if you are pressed against a wall, unable to breathe because you are suffocating from fear or anxiety.

They do not fear for you when you cannot sleep, in the instances your projects overwhelm you, or when failure would be a financial as well as personal catastrophe. They do not worry for you when your bank account dips into negative, when you ask for help, or just for few minutes of comfort.

They do not worry… For you. They worry for them. If you succeed, they’ll have a confirmation of what they secretly have always known: they have lived a life as if they were already dead. These people are driven by fear and desire to drag anyone into the death pit that refuses to conform.

              Confessions of The Financier: To Be Continued…

Oliviero Rubini

Born in the South of Italy, in a gloriously decadent city with handsome men, sensual women, and no future for the ambitious, Oliviero Rubini spent his sheltered youth among the writers of a lost time and...