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Letters To The Wind : Volver

words

The words kept coming and she knew, the words never come alone…

She knew that words never travelled alone. She knew that El Duende was to blame for the world that changed on the turn of yesterday to today. The snow-white ghost has done what it had to do, taking her bleeding heart for a walk from Emily Dickinson to Virginia Wolf.

When you pour the pain out on the paper, it hurts less – every word you utter leads you a little closer to your destiny, she wrote down, although, she knew, the day fifteen made her start counting the clear drops of blood that rumbled in her.

On one side, a man set in stone. On the other, another one, whose distress hurts her much more. With him, every time she dropped her guard and let him close to her, she saw her future self standing in the line next to Ted Hughes and Sylvia Plath. And she knew, oh how well she knew, that she was just one step away from the never trodden road to the open sky.

Loss. Every time experienced anew, a losing game to the death. It’s all El Duende’s fault, she said, for throwing me in the bottomless abyss of pain, where only the one who whispered those sweet, bitter, impossible words of promised happiness thorough the ghost, only he can find me.

Do not run away from your destiny, no one has managed to escape from it yet, she wrote down, and she knew that the phantasm was telling her the truth, but she just wasn’t ready to face it. Today.

She closed the door of the balcony and locked the howling wind on the other side, wailing, lamenting, raging at her sudden, inexplicable decision to ban him form residing in her apartment. In her thoughts. In her city. In her bedroom.

—You discarded me, he said.
—I thought you were the one who left first, she answered.

—There is no way of surviving you, he admitted, the way she always imagined he’d admit it. But that was yesterday.

The words kept coming and she knew, the words never come alone. It’s all to El Duende’s fault. And Fellini’s La Dolce Vita. And a painter’s, in whose arms she greeted the new dawn.

 

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About the author

Ksenija Pavlovic

Ksenija Pavlovic

Ksenija Pavlovic is the Founder and Editor-in-Chief of the Pavlovic Today, The Chief White House Correspondent.

Pavlovic was a Teaching Fellow and Doctoral Fellow in the Political Science department at Yale University, Lead Instructor in International Affairs and Security and Politics Law and Economics programs at Yale Global Scholars, Head Writing Fellow at the Yale Graduate Writing Center, Fellow of the “Research and Travel Award in Grand Strategy” from International Security Studies (ISS) at Yale University, Fellow of the Roger Hertog Global Strategy Initiative in Religious Violence at Columbia University, a Doctoral candidate in Political Conflict and Peace Building Processes at Complutense University in Madrid, Fellow of the OSI Global Supplementary Grant Program, and a Visiting Doctoral Fellow at the Juan March Institute. She holds an M.Sc. in European Politics from the London School of Economics, an M.A. in American Politics, and a B.A. in Journalism and Communication from the University of Belgrade. She speaks English, Serbian, Croatian, and Spanish.

Pavlovic has interviewed exclusively pivotal figures including Arianna Huffington, Sir Richard Branson, President of the World Bank Jim Yong Kim, Karlie Kloss, filmmaker and founder of the Webby awards Tiffany Shlain, film director Lars von Trier, actors Adam Brody, Monica Bellucci, fashion designers Adolfo Dominguez, Tommy Hilfiger and Donna Karan, publisher and former presidential candidate Steve Forbes; the world No.1 tennis player Novak Djokovic; novelist Martin Amis, as well as big names in the governmental arena such as the former President of Serbia Boris Tadic, the leading members of the first democratic Serbian government and Milorad Dodik, President of the Serbian entity of BIH. Moreover, Ms. Pavlovic has exclusively covered the Cannes Film Festival, Venice Film Festival, Sarajevo Film Festival, London Film Festival, Madrid Fashion Week, The Madrid Open, and a range of other international benefit and political events.

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