Why do we tend to hold on so tightly to things that are gone, impossible, or simply do not serve us anymore?
Sometimes, we wrongly believe that by holding on the outcome, things will be different. Holding onto something is nothing but our resistance to change. It is a human way of saying “I don’t want this! I’m not ready to adjust to the changed circumstances!”
Unfortunately, there are some deeply emotional situations in which letting go would appear as a betrayal of the loved ones or an unfair continuation of life for us while someone we love is gone forever.
In those cases holding onto something is not only our resistance to change but also a way we believe we are keeping our love alive and coping with the guilt of the “unfair” situation in which life goes on for us. Sadly, holding on will not bring our loved one back, nor there will be any relief if we refuse to let go.
Twenty years after my parents have passed away I finally realized that I was holding on so tightly to the idea that my life will eventually continue like nothing had ever happened. I have buried the grief deep inside me, refusing to face it believing that things will go back to how they used to be. They never did and they never will.
Holding onto something keeps us stuck in certain emotions, in a certain state of mind and life setting. It is blocking us from going forward, from new experiences, from growing and maturing.
Ways to Let Go
- Let go of anger – holding on to grudges affects your health, good mood and happiness. No justice ever will be served by retaliation and there is no human who ever felt genuinely better by getting it even. You can only feel better by letting go and letting yourself to be happy.
- Let go of the need to be right – It is not about being right all the time it is about feeling good. Since being right can come at the expense of kindness, your own piece of mind, let go of it. What is the use of being right if you hurt somebody or keep yourself under tension of proving you right? Just let it go!
- Let go of the need to prove yourself to anybody else but yourself – People will always talk, and they will always have their opinion. Live your truth, not anybody else’s.
- Let go of your desires – Chase your dreams but be flexible about the outcome. Don’t obsess over things since it will only shut you down from all the amazing opportunities that may come your way.
- Let go of how things should be – same as with the desires: have an idea but don’t keep yourself from living your life just because things did not unfold according to plan
- Let go of resistance – stop fighting life and take the curveball it throws your away.
- Let go of your past – you are not who you used to be yesterday. You previous experiences are in the past, and past has no hold over you. Every minute is a new beginning for everybody. Use it.
- Let go of the ones who are gone – there is nothing you can do to bring them back. Holding on to them will not keep them here but will keep you from living your life and being happy.
Love yourself enough to let go of the things that are holding you down. Set yourself free and live your life open for all that may come.